Jana Kramer and her husband, former NFL player Mike Caussin, were married in 2015 and immediately wanted children. However, they had a tough time conceiving, so they turned to invitro fertilization (IVF). Two of the three embryos retrieved, were implanted, but they resulted in miscarriages, devastating the couple.

Kramer, who played Alex Dupré on the hit television show “One Tree Hill,” finally found out that she was pregnant with her daughter Jolie Rae, who is now two years old.

They were overjoyed by Jolie Rae’s birth. A few months, Kramer was pregnant again. But this time, she unfortunately miscarried.

“The more you involve your partner, the more he feels involved too. 

The couple still wanted another baby, so they tried IVF again with that third embryo, which resulted in another miscarriage. In total, Kramer has had two chemical pregnancies — an early pregnancy loss that happens soon after implantation — and three miscarriages.

Finding a community

“When I had my miscarriage last October [2017], I had a really tough time,” Kramer recounts. “I had a video I wanted to do, but I didn’t want to seem like I was trying to get attention or wanting people to feel bad for me. It was more that I didn’t want to feel alone. But instead I deleted the videos and I just posted a picture.”

Kramer, 34, saved the videos she made during the pregnancy and compiled them into an emotional vlog, which she recently shared on her YouTube channel. She wants to make the online community aware of the struggles of conception, hoping that it will inspire people to be there for each other.

“People go through this all the time and they feel like they can’t share because it’s just so sad,” she says. “Selfishly, I wanted to put it out there so that I didn’t feel as alone with the things I was going through. I just wanted to say that it happens to everybody.”

The “I Got the Boy” country singer gave birth in November to a second child, her son Jace, who was conceived naturally. She had bad morning sickness while pregnant and had to take prescription medicine for her symptoms.

Through her personal experiences and those of friends, Kramer has realized how common miscarriages are.

“We’re not supposed to immediately share when we get pregnant because a miscarriage can happen substantially in the first 12 weeks, but I think it’s one of those things it should be celebrated one way or the other because that way you have a community to help you if it doesn’t work out,” she says, “It is so lonely when you don’t share that you’re pregnant and then you do lose the baby. Then you have no one to be there for you, and that’s the loneliest feeling of all.”

Her advice

Kramer went through two rounds of IVF and knows how much time, money and emotions are invested in the process.

“The greatest advice I could give anyone is just to give yourself grace during that time period,” she says, noting IVF wreaks havoc on hormones and can be a lonely.

She encourages women to get their partner involved.

“The more you involve your partner, the more he feels involved too,” says Kramer, whose husband knew her ovulation calendar and her medicine schedule. “He doesn’t know what’s going on — you have to be the one to inform him and also encourage him to be a part of it.”

She says infertility and miscarriages will never make sense, but urges mothers to never give up.