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4 Steps for Finding a Health Care Provider You Trust With Your Sex Life

Coming out about your sexual orientation or gender identity is a personal decision, and only you can decide if and when to come out, to whom and how to do it. As you consider to whom in your life you should come out, keep in mind that being open and honest with your health care provider is an important part of getting the best care possible.

Why is it important to find a health care provider you trust and can be honest with? As a doctor, I can tell you that coming out to your provider helps us offer you care and advice that is specific to your life, like discussing PrEP as a tool for HIV prevention with gay and bisexual men or asking about cervical cancer screenings with trans men. The more we know about you, the better we can help you stay healthy.

Here are some things to keep in mind when finding a provider who’s right for you:

1. Get referrals from people you trust

Reach out to friends and ask for recommendations. Do they have a health care provider they trust? It’s OK to talk with a few providers until you find someone you like.

2. Ask about confidentiality

You may be concerned that your nurse or doctor will discuss what you talk about with others, so feel free to ask how private your conversations will be. Providers are obligated by law to protect patient privacy, except in very specific instances.

3. Be honest about your sexual behavior

Once you’ve found a provider you trust and feel comfortable coming out to, remember that being open means more than just telling them your sexual orientation or gender identity. Being honest about your sex life means they can focus on your personal health concerns and avoid unnecessary questions or discussions — about birth control, for example.

4. Discuss how often you should get checked out and tested for STDs

Periodic checkups and regular STD tests are essential for staying healthy — no matter who you are or where you live.

At Planned Parenthood, we believe that all people deserve high-quality health care and nonjudgmental sexual health information, and we’re proud to be a provider of health care, education and information for many in LGBTQ communities. Our doors are open to everyone because we know that everyone deserves to go to a health care provider they trust.

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