In many countries across the world, including the United States and United Kingdom, loneliness is increasingly an issue, particularly for men. We break down why that might be and how we can help tackle it.
At Mental Health Foundation, we often talk about “the building blocks of good mental health.” These are the things which enable us to feel mentally well, like having a good income, living in a home that meets our needs, or being safe from racism and hatred. When these “building blocks” disappear, we become more susceptible to experiencing a mental health problem.
For many of us, a building block which has been eroded is community — being surrounded by people who care for us and whom we care for. This is why “Community” is the theme for Mental Health Awareness Week 2025 in the United Kingdom, which the Mental Health Foundation runs. In recent years, particularly since the pandemic, we’ve witnessed an increase in people feeling lonely.
In particular, men — especially young men — seem to face challenges in making the connections we all need.
The evolving male role
There are interesting and challenging reasons why men might face difficulties with loneliness. Traditional masculine traits — which emphasize independence, emotional stoicism, and pain endurance — can make us more vulnerable to loneliness. Men often bottle up feelings because sharing doesn’t seem manly.
However, traditional masculinity isn’t entirely bad for forming connections. Embracing traditional male roles in the family can help men overcome loneliness. Many groups in the United Kingdom, such as Dads Rock — a parenting group which provides dads and families with tools to give their child the best possible start in life — are great examples of the value that connections made as a dad, or a brother, uncle, or son, can bring to a man’s life.
But relying on these familial roles for connection is not enough. There will be some of us who cannot have those family connections for one reason or another, and some men in familial roles will still struggle to embrace connection.
So, facing a world in which many traditional male roles are changing or disappearing altogether, we need to find a new approach. We need new male roles, and men who look after one another, and each other’s mental health, can be leaders in this new world.
Emotionally supporting one another
To facilitate this, we still need to question elements of traditional masculinity that are harmful to forming connections, like bottling up emotions and not sharing how we’re feeling, particularly with fellow men. If you’re a man who’s feeling lonely, ask yourself when you last chatted with another man about how they, and you, are feeling.
If you answered “a while ago,” why not try this: Ask a friend how they are, and then if they answer something standard — like “I’m fine” or “Yeah, all’s good” — ask them again how they’re really feeling. This should facilitate a conversation, and even if they really are doing fine, you can explain how you feel. You may realize that your male pals are also facing challenges in their lives. They will appreciate you opening up to them about what you’re going through, reassured that they can do the same.
If you feel yourself questioning whether this is “manly,” ask yourself this: Is helping one another not something to be admired? Throughout society, we hold up people who help and save others: firefighters, soldiers, doctors. Helping is manly, and emotional support is, too.
These connections don’t need to be in person. Online connections can provide a valuable opportunity for people battling loneliness. Value these connections too, so long as they’re from communities which make you feel safe and positive about yourself and the people around you.
Community and connection can be a difficult thing to find, particularly as a man, in 2025. Thankfully, when you know how to find it, you will quickly find much of it is still there — it might just take a little bit of opening up.
Read more about community and mental health at www.mentalhealth.org.uk/mhaw.
