Actor Jeff Bridges reflects on his lymphoma journey, sharing how love, resilience, and perspective helped transform his cancer experience.
What does it mean to you to be a cancer survivor today?
I’m very fortunate and grateful, and it’s brought both of those things to the forefront of my life. I find that love is very present.
What were some of the hardest parts of your lymphoma journey?
My hospital experience was during COVID, so my family couldn’t visit me. It was tough being away from them. I remember being rolled over to the window, and they would be out in the street waving, and I would wave back, but I was so wiped out that I could only get in that chair and raise my hand for two or three minutes.
I like to change positions while I sleep, but turning over took about 15 minutes and was strenuous and exhausting. So, I couldn’t sleep. The nurse would kick up oxygen to 100 percent so my body would have enough to make the initial turn, which was very painful and difficult.
Who or what helped you get through treatment?
For starters, the wonderful nursing staff, my doctors, and having the oxygen necessary to do basic things. I had to call in the troops to go to the loo; we would get in a huddle and go very fast, like a football team making a play. It took teamwork to avoid having an accident. It was like a sporting event. That stuck with me.
Of course, my family was my biggest supporters. Even though they were far away, I would talk to them on the phone, FaceTime them, and thank God for their presence. That’s one of the positive things this whole adventure brought out: the heightened feeling of being loved and loving was very much a part of the whole experience.
I felt love from all the nurses and doctors, too. Even though their faces were hidden behind masks, I could still feel love radiating and being supported by them — and the universe, really. It feels funny to say it, but it was an experience I’m glad to have had, because I received gifts that I could only receive in that situation. The gift of love was so present.
I remember one of my wonderful doctors saying, “Jeff, you’re not fighting. You’ve got to fight.” I had no idea what he was talking about. Fight what? I was in total surrender mode, figuring that everyone dies, and this could very likely be me dying, so I was surrendering to that. I didn’t want to fight death in that way. I think of death as part of life. We’re all going to die, you know?
I would have contests with myself to see how long I could stand up. My first attempt lasted 45 seconds. Then I would say, “I can beat that record,” and I would stand up for a minute, then gradually increase the time. The last contest that I gave myself was to be able to stand and dance with my daughter Hayley on her wedding day. I’m so grateful for my physical therapist and trainer, Zack Wermers. We trained like it was a sporting event. I made it.
Has surviving cancer changed the way you live or think about life?
The same philosophies I had prior to my illness were still present, but the illness itself heightened all those feelings. I felt supported by the universe to get through this challenge as best I possibly could.
I remember preparing for the movie “Against All Odds,” and my trainer trained me hard. I did chin-ups, which were very tough, but I finally got up to about 30, and would do three sets of 30. However, I was frightened by the idea of having to do these chin-ups that caused pain. My trainer said something interesting: “You just do it, and you do as much as you can, then you stop.” This made it so simple, and made my experience, and the fear of it, feel different. I applied that to going through the illness and being in the hospital. As I said, it became a kind of sporting event. That’s a funny way to think about it, but you just go in there and do your best. In a sense, it’s fighting, but it’s not really fighting. Maybe it’s more like dancing with a partner as opposed to boxing him.
What would you say to someone battling blood cancer right now?
Train and do your best. When I say train, I mean be open to all the love and information that’s coming at you, and glean what you can from it. Be as present as you can, and receive it all as a gift. It doesn’t seem logical, but being alive, we go through all sorts of experiences, and here’s one that you’re going through right now. So, just do your best. Be open to all the gifts that you can receive in this situation.
